Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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