Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
