Me. At least after what I've been through.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
