If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
