I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
