i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
That's how pantless uber rides happen
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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