He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
