I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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