I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
