hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
