Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Randomize