I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
