she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
In other news, I just burned my penis
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I had to cum in my sink.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
