So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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