did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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