dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
