This is not my ceiling
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
