No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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