do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
