don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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