You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
