So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
