In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
