In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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