And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
