I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
