Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
