Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
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