Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
