We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
