I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
