and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
