2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
