airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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