I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
At least life still wants to fuck me.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
