my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
