You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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