i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Randomize
