I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
