how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
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