Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?

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(225): View more from Louisiana

he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?

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(914): View more from New York

Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter

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(954): View more from Florida

My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?

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(303): View more from Colorado

He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!

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(203): View more from Connecticut

We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese

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(303): View more from Colorado

You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.

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(360): View more from Washington

Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now

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