i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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