I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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