so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
