Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
