Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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