i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
as a side note pls kill me
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize