I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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