You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
