farters have to be the big spoon...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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