if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
