i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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