quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
ok first of all what the fuck
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
