I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
