The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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