the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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