Is it normal to miss your booty call?
there's paper in my vomit.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
